I’ve come upon dark times. No job prospects, a dwindling bank account and a good bit of crippling self-doubt. I guess that’s the name of the game! However, it can all just be blamed on me not trying hard enough. As I lay in bed last night at 3AM freaking out, I realized that I’m just barking up the wrong tree, at least at the moment. I have this vision of doing amazingly complex and interesting illustrations in the editorial or publishing vein, but I think I’ve set my sights too high. So I’m going to just calm down and simplify.
I’ve retooled the site slightly and changed and added a few pieces in the main portfolio. I’ve re-added some slightly older pieces that show examples of posters, books and other items that I think are easy for a potential customer to see how they might be able to actually use illustration. For right now I’m going to try and court some local businesses and see if I can’t get any work doing flyers, web graphics, posters, or other types of promo work. My editorial goal is still there but I’m realizing that I can’t just jump right up to it, I have to work my way up. Live and learn.
P.S. I accidentally deleted my site earlier while trying to upgrade wordpress. I had no local backup. Luckily I have amazing friends that know what they’re doing!
Erin and I did a lot of traveling over the holidays. From Seattle to Chicago, Down to Kankakee, Home to Detroit, down to an unplanned night in Phoenix, New Years in Los Angeles and then a final flight back to Seattle. Everything went pretty smoothly except for that night in Phoenix and US Airways losing one of Erin’s bags (still unrecovered). But we had a wonderful time with all of our friends and I wanted to say thank you for lending us your couches, futons and guest rooms!
As stated previously, I’m going to be doing my best to stay on top of everything. My goals for this month are to make a mini comic, create some type of promo postcard or mailer, and finish updating the website (I need to add comics and I’m still toying with the idea of re-adding some of my older design work). I’m also going to give myself a “sketchbook assignment” this month which will be to draw places and buildings and work on my sense of drawing spaces and places.
Oh, and here’s something else I did recently: The cover for the annual holiday compilation album over at Adam Riff. I had never heard of the Gaslight Anthem before, but I think this little bit of photoshoppery came out pretty good.
I decided to jump right in today and begin putting together my mailing list. I pushed through the hustle and bustle of Barnes & Noble toward the art section, where I grabbed the 2010 edition of The Artist’s and Graphic Designers Market. I planned on copying down every art director’s name and contact info I thought might be right for what I want to do. But by the time I was only in the ‘B’ magazine listings, I realized that I’m not ready for this.
Looking through those listings made me realize two important things: 1. Most publications are looking for something rather specific–if not in content, then surely in style–and 2. pieces from new or up-and-coming artists don’t seem to make up a very large margin of purchased work. No, this isn’t just me being down on myself. It’s me trying to be realistic. I decided then that I need to do a bit more focusing inward before I start looking outward. And this brings me to the current state of my artwork.
Concepts
I have never felt particularly strong in my conceptual abilities as an artist. I think this is something that I can fix by working harder at crafting ideas before I even begin sketching. I usually just put pencil to paper absent-mindedly and doodle. I end up drawing the same lines and shapes every time, never really challenging myself.
Another issue here is that I’ve often felt like I produce better images when I’m doing it for someone else rather than for myself. Perhaps this seems a bit backward, but I think it goes along with what I just said, about absent-mindedly doodling. It’s much easier to begin sketching and thumbnailing when someone else gives me some guidelines or jumping-off points. The challenge now is to try to do this for myself, working within guidelines or with a story in mind and to work as if the piece is for someone else. I need to make my personal work a bit better if I want to catch the eye of an art director or potential client.
The Follow-Through
I settle for things too often in my work. I often call the piece “done” when it could probably benefit from a bit more attention. What I’m really saying here is: I’m lazy. When I see work from other artists that really excite and inspire me, it’s easy to look past the amount of time it probably took to complete the piece. I’m impatient when I draw and always want instant gratification. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they probably worked on building it every day.
Next Steps
Think more, sketch more, have a message, tell a story, work it until it’s done, and basically just be more conscious of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I’ll deal with this mailing list stuff later.
I’ll leave it at this for now. I could nitpick my bad practices and attitudes all day, but I won’t bore you with it all at once. I’m just trying to identify these things for myself so that I can fix them and move forward. So the trip to B&N wasn’t successful for what I had originally set out for today, but it did get me thinking more about what I need to do to get to that point. And I did get a free bite of cheesecake and a free dixie cup of coffee while I was there, so it wasn’t a total waste.
I’ve done it again: Another soft relaunch of my website. In the end, not much has changed. But of course it took me a few months to realize that that’s okay. I’ve simplified things a bit, changed the way the portfolio works and I’ve even added a couple of new pieces to it. But this post isn’t really about what I’ve done, but rather about what I plan on doing.
Goals
The main, long-term goal of course is: I want to make a living as a freelance illustrator. I have been drawing and designing things for a couple of years now and making enough money to get by. But so far I haven’t made enough to feel comfortable and I haven’t really done much that I’m very proud of (which isn’t to say I haven’t worked with some great folks on interesting projects, but it’s time for me to take the reigns).
There are many short-term goals that work toward my main goal. Things like making some more new pieces, gathering a mailing list, creating and sending promos of some sort, networking, etc. Or to put it more simply: I need to do the leg work! I plan on finally using this space to chronicle my process and my progress. I hope that it might also be helpful for others as surely there are others struggling with the things I’m struggling with.
Challenges
My biggest problem is easily my internet-aided procrastination. I want to make the internet work for me for a change and this means knowing when to disconnect, too. Even if nobody reads this thing, committing myself to keeping a log of my progress here will turn ‘the internet’ into a watch-dog of sorts, an entity that I need to update and prove myself to. This may sound weird, but it’s probably a healthier position than how things have been for the last few years.
My second biggest problem is my low self-confidence or self-doubt. This is something I’ve just been trying to force myself to get over. It’s not helping anything. Anyway, people generally genuinely enjoy illustration/cartoons/comics/seeing people follow their creative impulses and i need to remember that if I enjoy and am committed to what I’m doing, others will be as well. So basically: I’ve just gotta do it.
In Conclusion
So my new years resolution is to do it and try and do it right. I’m trying to get everything in order to start 2010 off right and keep it going strong. I’ll be updating this space with my progress and the things I learn along the way (in addition to other, probably less dry subjects). And if you notice I haven’t updated in a while, please tell me to get my act together. Thanks.
I’ve done it again: Another soft relaunch of my website. In the end, not much has changed. But of course it took me a few months to realize that that’s okay. I’ve simplified things a bit, changed the way the portfolio works and I’ve even added a couple of new pieces to it. But this post isn’t really about what I’ve done, but rather about what I plan on doing.